Virginia Tech Shooting 2007

All I Wanted Was To Be Invisible  

 

The Virginia Tech College Shootings of 2007

By Bill Petros – May 6th, 2007

 

 

Posted By - Bill Petros

 

A Story of Sadness       

All I Wanted Was to Be Invisible

 

7 Min Read -    

The Following is from our Blog archive 2007

 

 The Silence

 "All I wanted was to be invisible. 

A relatively simple request it did not involve anyone else; when I'm in a room with another person, I only feel like half myself, with two people a third of myself, with three a quarter. And when I'm in a room full of people, I feel like nobody! 

One day we wake up and realize the world sucks and we suck for being part of it. And we try to run away, anything but to face ourselves as we are! Anything to avoid asking the question; why we hate ourselves so much, why humanity hates so much… 

They say the truth can set you free- it's a lie, the truth is, lies protect us, lies keep us safe- from the truth. “(The Quite) 

 

 

 My Thoughts As I lay in the quiet and still darkness of my room, I keep wondering what "people" are. What are we? Humans are classified as bi-pedal primates. 
But I guess that's the real question, isn't it? What and why are we? I started writing this because I keep thinking about the man who just killed 33 people a few minutes from me and injured numerous others! Why do we hate each other so much? 
Why do we hate ourselves so much? Man is capable of such greatness! Yet we cuddle up with our misery and sadness, and we saturate everyone around us with it. 
 People say there is no magic, no real magic in the world, but I say they are wrong; it lies within our hearts; I know that's where I keep mine! We are all from the same beginnings! What are we? We are living creatures all trying to find our place in this massive universe! We are all a part of each other; Einstein was sure of it. (Matter is never indeed destroyed, but recirculated, re-used). 
We are all just looking for love, happiness, for Purpose. So, we continue to remain a part of each other! That energy continues to stay, and so we are a cumulation of everyone before us. And as we continue the search for what we are missing, trying to figure out this life that we live, we wake up one morning after years of contemplation, we realize it's the same feeling from years past. "The world is screwed , and so are we for being in it!" There is no escape; you can run as fast as you can in any direction. 
The problem is life, and the world go by too fast for us to keep up. They say that the world spins on its axis at around 1,000 miles an hour, and sometimes I swear I can feel it spinning under my feet! 
Since I can remember, I have thought about these things, like my brain was a little machine in the corner of my room contemplating my life. And after 40 years, I have concluded that we are a great people, full of magic, but we hide it so well. 
We keep all that within our ever-so-fragile and slightly broken hearts. Why is it when we look at ourselves in the mirror, we are not capable of seeing the beautiful creations we are? We are forever scrutinizing ourselves, judging ourselves, never being satisfied, always wanting more, always disappointed in ourselves and those around us. 
 Maybe we've just never looked through the right eyes. Never seeing clearly, we have all blurred our visions from the plastic faces we have put on. Oh, but it's okay, we tell ourselves to wear a plastic face, to put on that plastic smile, the world is plastic! So, we cannot see with any clarity; we are forever broken and weary, stumbling around, trying to find our way. 
 I can't help wondering if anyone ever feels like this, lost, and confused, waiting for our lives to finally begin! There is a saying, "once you know who you're not, you might then see who you are. "I personally will probably never know who I truly am, and maybe most of us never will, but I do know what we can become, what fragile little lives we have, and how society can alter us if we are not careful, it turns us into people like the University of Virginia student who murdered 32 people and tried to kill 17 others! But only wounding them. 
 Why is it we strive for greatness, yet we measure ourselves in misery? A girl I know once told me I was a hippy because of my philosophy of loving everyone and everything; at first, I took it offensively like it was an insult! I have since come to realize that it would be a better place if the world were a little hippier. Why can't we all love one another? Why can't we all genuinely care for every living thing on the planet?
 I have one theory: "fear." They say that apathy is evil's greatest ally. I say it is fear, fear has changed the world, and it has changed us! We are all scared and slightly scarred from the fear of this world. 
 Fear: It starts from very young, our parents putting their fears into us. By 2 or 3, we start having many fears and Nightmares, and then we start school; that's when you really start to see how the world is, the hate that spreads around the schoolyard like a virus consuming the kids, engulfing us. Then after we finish school, it's jobs, and then you see how cutthroat the world can be. 
 We scamper around like scared tiny ants doing our jobs, letting fear run us. So why is the world screwed up? Because we are too frightened, too scared to do anything about it! 
 A wise and powerful creature once said, "Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." Yoda - He is right. Are we not all suffering within ourselves, unhappy with our jobs, with love, with our achievements, with ourselves?
 And so, it all goes back to the fear of life.
 I was once having my everyday problems in my life many years ago, and my father took a look at me and said, "What are you so afraid of?" I just looked up at him like, what! He said, you are a scared little boy. I was about 23 or so at the time. And I just thought to myself, "Whatever, dad." He said, stop your whining and self-pity; he said, we are all scared in some way but remember you are a winner; you have already beat the odds of nature, of life to be here breathing, we as people have won over a million to one odds just to be conceived. That we were all the strongest, the toughest ones, that we had the greatest strength of heart, pushing our way to the front of a colossal pack to be first! 
He said we are the sum of all the combined gene pools of life before us. (science only recently has proven this) that we all have genes that link us all together." And his final words to me were, "So why are you stopping now, why is it that after you we are born, that we stop being at the front of the pack (fear) in the beginning we know no fear! He said dig deep within your heart, find your strength, release it, and let it flow; life takes courage and strength. 
 And after years of thought on it, I think it is love that we receive our greatest strength, to carry on in life, love for the things around us, the love for a beautiful flower, the love of a beautiful woman, the love we have for our family or friends, the love we feel when a child is born. 
All we truly have in the short and sometimes tough life is one another. I say we have true magic within our hearts; if we can only just let it out, find a way to release a little magic. Just think, if we all just let out a little magic, how much more beautiful the world and life could be. 
Maybe if the student who killed those kids had been shown a little magic from someone, he might not have turned into what he was, what he had become. So, let's all try and be more magical. 
 
 Note: 
Know, if you have read this, you are on my friend's list, so I already know you are magical. And know I love you all. And I would like to say that, I want to hear about your perspective on life and if you feel like writing back or commenting on this. Where do you find your strengths, and how do you feel about the world we live in? Take care, and God bless- Bill: 
 
Acknowledgment: 
And my heart goes out to the 32 students and their families of those who lost their lives in the tragic event. And my prayers go to the families of the students whose lives are tragically forever changed. 
 
Details  on the shooting: 
It took place April 16, 2007, at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University in Blacksburg, Virginia, Seung-Hui Cho, an undergrad student, and a United States resident of South Korean descent, killed 32 people and wounded 17 others. And another 6 injured from jumping out of school windows to escape the gunfire. 
With a Glock pistol and a Walther P22, he shot 33 people and injured 17 others. 
Seung-Hui Cho had been diagnosed with severe depression and Mutism. (the inability or unwillingness to speak due to brain damage or a psychological condition). 
Seung-Hui Cho was a 23-year-old senior at Virginia Tech. He was a South Korean citizen with permanent United States residency. He was majoring in English. 
 
Possible Cause Of Violence?
 Investigations into Seung-Hui Cho's life revealed Psychological and mental illness, depression, and neurological disorders such as Autism and speech disorders and Selective Mutism. 
He was placed in therapy during his middle school and high school years as he had been bullied for his speech difficulties. However, these facts have not been able to be verified. Also, some evidence of the allegations of severe ostracizing and bullying in high school for his ethnic background, height, and speech problems. 
When he applied and was accepted to Virginia Tech, school officials could not report his speech and other related conditions due to federal laws prohibiting their disclosure. 
Seung-Hui Cho had been found and declared mentally ill by a Virginia state justice and ordered mental health services. 
The After shooting investigation found a suicide note in Seung-Hui Cho dorm room that talked about Debauchery and rich kids. In the end, just before authorities arrived, Seung-Hui Cho turned his pistol upon himself and shot; he was the 33rd death in this shooting spree that has forever changed us and our world. 
This is one of the worst school shooting massacres of United States history and the worst mass shooting incident in US history at the time. 
 Let's hope that it has opened some eyes, that maybe, some people will take off their masks long enough to see, to have their eyes opened just long enough to observe what's going on, to hear the cries for help. To listen to people, to see what's behind the world we live in and to read between the lines of life, and to think about the words our world is selling! Us. 
 Thank you for listening.

 

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